I find it especially astounding reading articles, biographies or what nots (of course not unless it’s interesting or I wouldn’t even start) of people who convey their thoughts so well that you actually feel how they feel subconsciously. pretty subliminal, and daunting, perhaps, because they might imprint some ideology in us without us even knowing. but that’s besides the point. yes, so you see, the thing about me is when I think of something, another thought fits almost seamlessly into the current one, so much that I feel somewhat inclined, or obliged, to totter about it. and unknowingly another thought would seep in, I’ll digress again, and you get the drift.

it’s especially tiring for me to force myself to concentrate on a single topic. more often than not, I found myself straying off topic in most of my gp essays. but I still managed to attain at least a B so whatever I’m not complaining. neither am I bragging on cyberspace – a B isn’t a very good grade. hohoho Asians and the perfectionist theorem. it’s in our blood.

yes. so my thoughts are discombobulated. like say a kaleidoscope of random and some not-so-random stuff. it doesn’t seem like a colorful kaleidoscope though, maybe one covered in dust such that the top’s all murky and you can’t see the shapes clearly.

I don’t write about stuff that happened in the day. I don’t fancy turning my space into a diary. of course there may be eventful notions to take note off, but I find it particularly out-of-place to mention them here. maybe it’s just me. I cant really define this feeling too. I just know they shouldn’t be here. I guess this is one the many reasons why I find blogging so difficult.

right. now I’m at a loss for words. haha. that’s my awkward laugh. alright so it’s a goodbye till the next time I chance upon something worthy to talk about.

hurhur

someone recently scrolled through my apps in my ipod and said, “you’ve a wordpress account?” and since i’m bored now, here i am typing an illogical post no one is going to read. not that it’s a bad thing – all these talks about censorship in weblogs and stuff – but we all know that it’s nice sometimes for someone to read our posts. then, at least we can lie to ourselves that someone cares.

i realise i contradict myself a lot. i like being alone, and i love the silence. but there are times when the silence becomes deafening and you need someone to talk to. and…once again i forgot what i wanted to say. you know sometimes i try to relate stuff and halfway through i blank out and forget my intention of sharing. anti-climatic i know, but, i guess i do it on purpose at times when i feel it’s not right to let anyone else hear. but this is not intentional. i think i didnt forget what to say, but i already said what i needed to in 2 sentences. i.e. “i like being alone and i love the silence”, however “there are times when i hate being alone and there are times i hate the silence.” yep. rhetorical. and it irks me that im typing this post for someone. ok probably im just talking to my inner-conscience. well, yea i am fine.

well, if you’re reading this, you know who you are, kudos to you for finding my wordpress. anyway i DID privatise my friendster account. how did you get to see my neoprints?

i was just reading my previous posts and urghh i cant believe i continued writing even when im in the ass-eh-eff. i dont know why im irked. probably there’s this misconception in my mind that posting stuff online is childish. but..i guess it’s rather refreshing to come back once in a while – away from facebook and stuff where we perpetually refresh our feeds like every 3 minutes to see how much others have caught up with us, or if anyone did try trapping a spider in shaving cream. wordpress is far relaxing, cos all you have is an empty box for you to fill. it’s like meditation.

but this is pretty nerve-wrecking because there are stuff i want to write here, but this inner quality control function in me keep censoring them. and so..yes i shan’t dwell on this.

so it’s till here for now. prolly next time when im remebered of this place ill write something again.

CB’s going to play Molly on the Shore by grainger. Irritating piece with awkward fingerings but it sounds good nonetheless. Solo piano, can’t really find a professional band recording.

This is the band version but it’s all static-y and ultra turn-off.

And….Give Us This Day by David Maslanka. All the recordings are all bad and you’ll probably go deaf after listeining to all the static. So, yes save your ears. Other pieces like Toccata and Fugue, etc. mmhmm.

So today has been an ultra boring day because all I did was practice and no one was working. Well, not that they weren’t working, we just had different schedules. Ya, so I was alone. I think  would go crazy if this continues. But I sure it’ll be better after my exam, or at least my inner conscience wouldn’t pester me to practice that often anymore. I need some R and R!

I was just reading someone’s blog, and I went to the archives which dates Nov/Dec 2004. It’s quite amusing how all of us used to talk when we were younger. And with all the wEirD Up dOwn FoNtS LiKe ThIs. I guess it’s inevitable that we’ll get dull as we age (and I’ll probably get duller given the place I’m in now). I wonder how some people can stay for 10 whopping years. As I said, I’d probably go crazy.

OMM concert’s coming soon as well. Prokofiev’s 5th and R&J. Interesting repertoire. But I always fall asleep on the train and miss my stop when I listen to Proko. Think I need more time getting used to it. Whatever. Music geek talk here.

I wouldn’t say that this week has been uneventful, and that my exam is causing me unecessary stress. I wouldn’t be able to play all those minor scales, dom 7ths and dim 7ths if I hadn’t registered for the exam. So yeah, pros and cons. Geek talk again, pardon me.

Blah. Brain jam. Can’t think of anything else to say. So, tata. I’m not emo by the way, although I may sound like I’m going to commit suicide. Time to drink some bubble tea.

Tata.

Screw irritating people. They should just be eradicated from the surface of the earth.

On a lighter but still pissifying note, I think it’s courtesy to at least ackowledge when someone greets you? Like if someone says, “hi”, shouldn’t you at least give a nod even if you’re a mute?

I don’t really care if it’s the ass-eh-ef. Being in the ass-eh-ef doesn’t mean you lose all your human emotions and play everything by that slab of cloth on your upper arm.

And this is just a general rant. Not that anyone has done anything bad to me or what. But seeing all these behaviors so often in work is driving me up the wall, hence my outburst today.

Eh wait. I just watched it and I think it’ll be too embarrassing to put it up here. Haha. But I practiced it and it helped me tongue faster. Very effective. So, anyone interested can ask me for the url. And I have the method book anyway so I can lend it out anytime, but not without a price. heh!

Someone once told me that people who can tongue fast are very good french kissers. Erm, I’m not sure if it’s true, but if the reed were the tongue of your counterpart, it’ll probably be quite sensational. Speaking of french kissing, I can imagine the tongues rolling about – and I guess it would be pretty…engaging? That’s why many people, should I say, advocate it?  But, thinking of the exchange of saliva already turns me off. Like, gross. You’re talking about massive exchange of saliva. It’s like a foreign object in your mouth would stimulate your saliva glands to secrete more saliva. What’s more, there are two people engaging in the act. TWO! Can you imagine the overflow of saliva. Omg. *bleah*

Speaking of which, I often see couples smooching each others’ hair, faces, whatever. Think of all the sebum on their faces. And did you know that you shed dead cells from your scalp. And couples are like gorging themselves with whatever flesh of their partners. Gross please. So you’re actually eating each other’s sebum and skin cells. As in ya maybe if I were to have a galfriend I may be a hypocrite. But whatever I’m not attached so I reserve every right to comment on stuff I find disgusting amongst couples. You see, I’m a boring person that’s why I think I’ll remain single I can’t help it. BLAHHHH.

I saw this stick thin woman and her weird boyfriend on the train today. I think she’s anorexic or something. And it’s not like she’s very pretty, sorry to say. But her boyfriend isn’t very good-looking too. So I guess…birds of the same feather flock together, and finally get attracted to each other. weird match made in heaven. I’m sorry. not. Yes, and they were fondelling with each other on the train. The girlfriend was all act-cute and the boyfriend was like, behaving like a dumb ass. Grow up please. I think people should take care of their self-image, especially in public because, it is so not classy to tarnish your image. Glamorous please people, think glamorous.

So…as I was saying…if anyone wants to get the method book from me just ask me and I’ll pass it to you.

I just found this utterly useless video on youtube. It’s says, “Kenny G Circular Beathing Lesson”. But all he does is brag about how it took him 20 years to learn circular breathing, and then he demonstrates it by holding a long note and subsequently a string of running notes. But…isn’t it supposed to be a lesson? So how do I practice circular breathing? He then promotes a rico reed at the end of the video, which was…really uncalled for and anti-climatic. Anyways, who needs the video. It’s in the method book too, so come get it from me if you want to play like him. right.

I’ll end off with this vid. She plays really well! Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker Suite arranged for solo piano. Enjoy.

(HAHAHHA THE WOMAN LOOKS LIKE SHE’S DIGGING HER NOSE!)

I have a sudden urge to talk about work, but I think I shouldn’t because the Internet is a vast avenue of accessible information – anyone can just stray to this site and it’ll be detrimental to me if my boss reads this. But I doubt he’ll see through this corporate image anyway.

I’ve been really busy these days, with NTU, Maris and work. What’s more, there’s omm and probably some others coming up. Thanfully most will end by jan, if not early February. But despite it being mentally draining, I kind of like going around to play for people. Hope I can do this more extensively on the future with a more professional circle of alliances.

Seriously, what’s up with me being all thoughtful and stuff. Sometimes I really can’t help but feel disgusted with myself. Is it bad? More so, is it bad to have split personalities? I’m going crazy!

I have this nudge that the way I write is uncannily similar to that of Jane Austen. Ref to Emma. At one point she’ll be writing about Emma’s love life with Mr. Darcy and the next moment she talks about hating balls and dancing, and then scoots off to talk about how much she loves chicken and dumplings. It’s like, Jane and Jane-the-alter-ego writing at the same time. How confusing is that? So don’t mind me as I switch my field of thought now.

I have always wanted to update my facebook status to, “what’s with guys and their ugly girlfriends?” but knowing me, I have not done so lest the 1000 comments the next moment screwing me upside down inside out. Since my blog is much more of a private affair, I type it here with more ease(I hope). You may think that I have a problem with almost everything but sorry it’s not true. This is the outcome of spending too much time alone thinking about stuff. And..I haven’t personally enlightened myself yet, as to the question, although some cliches may already come to mind -character over looks. Yeah right. Studies show that a larger proportion of guys go for looks while pretending that they do otherwise. And frankly speaking, I’m one of them. A point of note: not being all chauvinistic here. Yay to feminist rights anyway.

So let’s see what we’ve all been up to. I just spoke to fary so no qualms about that. Bize’s been playing piano hero, fencing hero, gun repair hero, etc. Stuart’s MIA! Probably abducted by aliens. Doo doo doo doo doo(x-files). Time to get Moulder and Scully out of their retirement homes.

Now I know I mentioned that I think I write like Jane, but I don’t end like her. I’m going to leave this post dangling in the air like how those avant garde composers do.

Tata