.

how do i put this.

thoughts

or errant thoughts I should say. I’ve been wondering lately (not very lately actually – frequently perhaps, but in minute portions. hence I do easily forget I thought about it) about my inability to convey my thoughts into words.

I find it especially astounding reading articles, biographies or what nots (of course not unless it’s interesting or I wouldn’t even start) of people who convey their thoughts so well that you actually feel how they feel subconsciously. pretty subliminal, and daunting, perhaps, because they might imprint some ideology in us without us even knowing. but that’s besides the point. yes, so you see, the thing about me is when I think of something, another thought fits almost seamlessly into the current one, so much that I feel somewhat inclined, or obliged, to totter about it. and unknowingly another thought would seep in, I’ll digress again, and you get the drift.

it’s especially tiring for me to force myself to concentrate on a single topic. more often than not, I found myself straying off topic in most of my gp essays. but I still managed to attain at least a B so whatever I’m not complaining. neither am I bragging on cyberspace – a B isn’t a very good grade. hohoho Asians and the perfectionist theorem. it’s in our blood.

yes. so my thoughts are discombobulated. like say a kaleidoscope of random and some not-so-random stuff. it doesn’t seem like a colorful kaleidoscope though, maybe one covered in dust such that the top’s all murky and you can’t see the shapes clearly.

I don’t write about stuff that happened in the day. I don’t fancy turning my space into a diary. of course there may be eventful notions to take note off, but I find it particularly out-of-place to mention them here. maybe it’s just me. I cant really define this feeling too. I just know they shouldn’t be here. I guess this is one the many reasons why I find blogging so difficult.

right. now I’m at a loss for words. haha. that’s my awkward laugh. alright so it’s a goodbye till the next time I chance upon something worthy to talk about.

hurhur

hello world

it’s been ages.

someone recently scrolled through my apps in my ipod and said, “you’ve a wordpress account?” and since i’m bored now, here i am typing an illogical post no one is going to read. not that it’s a bad thing – all these talks about censorship in weblogs and stuff – but we all know that it’s nice sometimes for someone to read our posts. then, at least we can lie to ourselves that someone cares.

i realise i contradict myself a lot. i like being alone, and i love the silence. but there are times when the silence becomes deafening and you need someone to talk to. and…once again i forgot what i wanted to say. you know sometimes i try to relate stuff and halfway through i blank out and forget my intention of sharing. anti-climatic i know, but, i guess i do it on purpose at times when i feel it’s not right to let anyone else hear. but this is not intentional. i think i didnt forget what to say, but i already said what i needed to in 2 sentences. i.e. “i like being alone and i love the silence”, however “there are times when i hate being alone and there are times i hate the silence.” yep. rhetorical. and it irks me that im typing this post for someone. ok probably im just talking to my inner-conscience. well, yea i am fine.

well, if you’re reading this, you know who you are, kudos to you for finding my wordpress. anyway i DID privatise my friendster account. how did you get to see my neoprints?

i was just reading my previous posts and urghh i cant believe i continued writing even when im in the ass-eh-eff. i dont know why im irked. probably there’s this misconception in my mind that posting stuff online is childish. but..i guess it’s rather refreshing to come back once in a while – away from facebook and stuff where we perpetually refresh our feeds like every 3 minutes to see how much others have caught up with us, or if anyone did try trapping a spider in shaving cream. wordpress is far relaxing, cos all you have is an empty box for you to fill. it’s like meditation.

but this is pretty nerve-wrecking because there are stuff i want to write here, but this inner quality control function in me keep censoring them. and so..yes i shan’t dwell on this.

so it’s till here for now. prolly next time when im remebered of this place ill write something again.

molly sing moh li

Concert is in May.

CB’s going to play Molly on the Shore by grainger. Irritating piece with awkward fingerings but it sounds good nonetheless. Solo piano, can’t really find a professional band recording.

This is the band version but it’s all static-y and ultra turn-off.

And….Give Us This Day by David Maslanka. All the recordings are all bad and you’ll probably go deaf after listeining to all the static. So, yes save your ears. Other pieces like Toccata and Fugue, etc. mmhmm.

So today has been an ultra boring day because all I did was practice and no one was working. Well, not that they weren’t working, we just had different schedules. Ya, so I was alone. I think  would go crazy if this continues. But I sure it’ll be better after my exam, or at least my inner conscience wouldn’t pester me to practice that often anymore. I need some R and R!

I was just reading someone’s blog, and I went to the archives which dates Nov/Dec 2004. It’s quite amusing how all of us used to talk when we were younger. And with all the wEirD Up dOwn FoNtS LiKe ThIs. I guess it’s inevitable that we’ll get dull as we age (and I’ll probably get duller given the place I’m in now). I wonder how some people can stay for 10 whopping years. As I said, I’d probably go crazy.

OMM concert’s coming soon as well. Prokofiev’s 5th and R&J. Interesting repertoire. But I always fall asleep on the train and miss my stop when I listen to Proko. Think I need more time getting used to it. Whatever. Music geek talk here.

I wouldn’t say that this week has been uneventful, and that my exam is causing me unecessary stress. I wouldn’t be able to play all those minor scales, dom 7ths and dim 7ths if I hadn’t registered for the exam. So yeah, pros and cons. Geek talk again, pardon me.

Blah. Brain jam. Can’t think of anything else to say. So, tata. I’m not emo by the way, although I may sound like I’m going to commit suicide. Time to drink some bubble tea.

Tata.

The Miraculous Mandarin

BOOMZ! Listen to the end! Especially 7:12 of part 2.